


I Now Know Why, I Was Scared

by lavenderlotion



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Poetry, Sad, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:46:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10939152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: A poem I wrote from the POV of Stiles





	1. Steter

The first time you held me

After orgasm

I had a panic attack that left me unconscious.

I do not know why

The idea of being wanted

Scared me

 

The first time you kissed me on the forehead

I cried

Until I threw up in the washroom

I do not know why

The idea of being cared for

Scared me

 

The first time you told me

You loved me

I left for three weeks

I still cannot tell you how sorry I am

I am sorry

That you feel in love with me

I do not know why

The idea of being loved

Scared me

 

When you left

I realized

This is what I was scared of

I do not like being weak

I have always been weak

Breakable

I did not want you to break me

 

If you

Were to hold me after sex

I would hold you tighter

I would not let go

If you

Were to kiss my forehead

I would kiss you cheek

Then your eyelids

Forehead

To show you

Just how precious you are

If you were to tell me you love me

I would give you the ring

I have had it since before you left

Since before I knew

Being broken

Is worth

Being in love with you.


	2. Chapter 2

Stiles closed his eyes when he finished, taking in a deep breath as the audience snapped their fingers in applause. He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to face the tightness in his chest. If he opened his eyes, Peter would be gone again. At least here, on stage with his eyes closed he could pretend, could try and convince himself someone still loved him, that he wasn't alone. That  _Peter_ still loved him.

A loud clapping sounded out above the snap of fingers, and Stiles looked towards the noise. Bright blue eyes. Goatee. Fucking smirk.

Peter.

 _Peter_.

Stiles choked out a sob and before he could think, jumped off the stage and moved towards Peter as the older man did the same. They met in the middle of the cafe, college students littered around them. Stiles chest felt even tighter with the nervous energy of it all, so, so scared. He stood there, unnaturally still and held his breath. He couldn't breathe, couldn’t think. He wouldn't dare let himself hope.

But then Peter opened his arms and Stiles launched himself forward, wrapping arms and legs around Peter in a koala hold. Stiles shoved his face into Peter’s neck, breathing in the scent of him and wishing - not for the first time since they’ve been together - that he had enhanced scent, just so he could  _really_ smell Peter. More than anything, he just wanted to be able to smell  _them_.

Peter was sucking and biting at Stiles’ neck, marking him like he hadn't done in months, the act wasn't even sexual, instead about being close, about being together again. About being each other's.

“I love you!” Stiles choked out between sobs, “I've loved you since before the first time you said it and I'm so,  _so_ sorry. I’m sorry i could never say it back!”

Peter didn't say anything to that, but he did start pressing gentle kisses to Stiles’ throat. Stiles nearly sobbed again in relief, relief that Peter was  _here_ again.

“How did you know where i was?” Stiles asked. They were now seated somehow, but Stiles was still planted firmly in Peter's lap with both of peter's arms tightly around Stiles’ waist.

“Your Twitter.” Peter admitted, still staring Stiles in the eye. “You need to change your privacy settings, i could see all of your posts!”

“You made a ‘ _lame teenage-centric social media_ ’ account just to stalk me?” Stiles asked, laughing and pressing kisses all over Peter’s face. Peter didn't answe, but he did huff out a very resigned sounding breath. “I love you, Peter Hale.”

“And I you, Stiles Stilinski.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have never posted poetry before! yelp!!
> 
> [my tumblr!](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)


End file.
